Natalee · Tomb

My Lips.

Yesterday I got another course from American School. It's LITERATURE!! Yay!! Something I'll be able to get done fast with finally. I've been stuck on History the past couple weeks. Math and Biology are taking a back seat very -very far in the back. :/
So it's encouraging and nice to have something I can work easily in.
I just finished my first exam and it's all ready to be mailed sitting by the front door.
(There are 8 exams in the course)

I want to head to Kinkos today to scan some charcoal art to put on my deviant art account!

Well, second week into my sickness and i'm doing good. Just got back from 2nd doc.s appointment and they're putting me on another medication for about 5 days. The medication i was taking the past week should have knocked it out (throat infection, pus pockets in lymph nodes, swollen) but I'm nutritionally deprived so it's going to take a little more to get rid of it.
I try to keep healthy, the three most important to upkeep a healthy body is:Rest, Nutrition, and Exercise. I excercise 2-3 times a week, i'm TRYING to keep on a somewhat normal sleeping schedule, and nutrition. Well, moms on her own diet thing and is limited financially grocery wise. So this clashes.
That's a big reason I look forward to moving out, my own grocery shopping and I make dinner for myself! (and Alexander ofcourse)
*sigh*
Good news is dad bought me a womens' multi-vitamin from GNC today. It'll last me about 40 days.
Sort of stressed about the healthy eating, I go back to the doctor in two weeks and she wants to see meat on my bones. I wonder how i'm going to achieve this. Goal is to be persistent with mother grocery wise. I know i'll feel bad with the financial situation and all though.
No Money = Stress
Anyway, I LOVE how my nails came out, they're black and purple. When I return to my home base tonight i'll post some pix.
Toenails are dainty and cute little squares in purple gloss.
My prescription reads: Natalie X Art----. They spelled my first name wrong but otherwise it's pretty cool looking. "X".
Jezebelee has a new photo-site thing. Don't know if she's referring me to the arnold man or to linda hamilton. Let us hope it's the latter...
I loved T2 when i was a kid. Linda Hamilton was my first female role model and she KICKS ASS. :D
Feel like i'm rambling.....

I need to break out. I need to do something I've always wanted to do but have always been afraid to do it. You see, I KNOW that people are controlled by fear, and still I have personal fears of my own. Fear holds people back, fear controls.
Earth is the most negative planet, the higher evolved call it "the marshes". It's so hard to be receptive to positivity, to see clearly and hear clearly, with so much bog in the atmosphere. I'm not just saying that because I've been diagnosed with being Manic Depressive either. Because the psycho-lady was probly wrong, I'm probly just fine.
Think. Think. Think. Think out loud...cryptology, adventure, rucksack, regression, arthur, live, breathe, movie, move, move, move.
Fear of life...will ruin it.
I feel like i'm a prisoner of my own mind. That if I just let go then i'll be free...but what's holding me back?...
FEAR.
How do I coach myself through my fears?

I don't take art seriously anymore, there's too many brilliant artists out there to try and even put something of mine next to theirs. Not that I'm striving to be the best, it's just...you know....

My vagina and I have issues, we need to sit down and have a serious talk.

I used to keep journals. I'd talk in riddles that only I could understand. Why did I do that? Why the increased paranoia at such a young age?

I want to learn, I want to read. But the bog is in the way between the enlightened knowledge I seek and my electrical brain.

Am I really as clever as people say I am?

Quite the job I had with Vision. I was with them about two weeks. They didn't give me my last weeks pay or the money from the safety account yet. I have to call them in two weeks. The safety account was created so that if a few checks or credit things bounced, or if I lost some certificates they would be covered.
I brought home about $300 in cash in total and i'm pretty darn chipper about how I spent it.
I took my mom and my boyfriend to Medieval Times!! :D It was a BLAST! Alex had never been there before so it was alot of fun suprising him, he didn't know where we were going till he saw the castle. :)
I would've liked for it to be a suprise for my mom as well but I needed her to pay with her credit/debit because I coulndn't pay in cash in person because MT hours' were too inconvenient and I wouldn't have had the car.
I'm PSYCHED to scrapbook the event.
Back to what I was saying though....So yeah I quit the sales/promotional job. I might have another job lined up though, my kickboxing place is looking for another instructor so Dina (wife of owner of place) is training me. :D I don't know when i'll have my own class or things like that, i should know more this saturday. If it's a while (which it'll probly be) then i'll know I can get a part time job.
Premiere for my movie is next friday i think.
DEVIANT ART: Anyone here have an account with deviant art? I just made an account and am sort of navigating my way around. I want to get a print account which I think you just post your art and people can buy it and Deviant Art will make prints of it available to people.
Anyone have any comment?

I'm getting worse at forgetting to update this livejournal. I want to I really really do!
Ok, I got a job. After looking and looking and moping around about having no job/money/thing to do all day, I've got a job. I'm in sales/promotional. I'm with a marketing place selling spa packages to buisnesses. I drive out to an area close to the salon/place i'm selling (usually about an hours drive) (oh, i get a ride with my trainer Mike) and sell door to door (buisnesses not houses). I'm on my freaking feet all day, about 8 hours. For every $50 certificate I sell I recieve $17 of it. My goals are as follows:
Weeks 1&2 I need to sell 40 a week, bringing me a total of taking home $680.
Weeks 3&4 I need to sell 60 a week, bringing me a total of taking home $1020.
Weeks 5&6 I need to sell 80 a week, bringing me a total of taking home $1360.
After that 6 week program I become a manager and I get to have people under me. A crew. I have those people starting their programs. Each certificate THEY sell I get $16 of it. So when I become manager I earn overrides. (that's what overrides are)
I just finished my first week and sold about 22 certificates. I need to work on my overcoming objections and enthusiasm. (for those of you that know me you know i hate approaches strangers and hate being falsely and forceably enthusiastic...no laughing)
SO, how long this will last we shall see. The money is nice when I earn it, those days when I bring home next to nothing I just feel I worked hard and it was for nothing. It can be very discouraging because only about 1 in 10 will buy. You gotta see at least 100 people a day. That's alot of rejection.
The bright side is that it teaches me people skills which everyone knows i need. It also teaches me to be positive.
Oh, we have a meeting every morning to go over our pitch and practice overcoming objections so it's not like they just throw me out there, they give me skills to apply and whatnot.
If i take it too seriously i get REALLY stressed out and near a breakdown, that's when I call alex and he makes me better. :D He reminds me to relax and to not take it so seriously and that relieves pressure. Then I can go out and have fun. People can be amusing sometimes.
Well, that's all about my job and it seems it's getting to be a long post.
OH, i forgot something to say. What I don't like about the job is that my work is commision so it's not steady. :( I only bring home bacon that i can sell.
Some info on the Spa Packages I sell:
You get hair treatments, deep conditioning, shampoo cut and style and a scalp massage.
You get a full body exfoliation plus airbrush tanning.
You get a facial with a skin analysis, mask toner & moisturizer
You get a full body massage with your choice of shiatsu, deep tissue or surface level.
This is usually a $300-400 value but we sell it for $50 ($53 if they use check or credit)
It's a sweet deal and that's why I can do it, If i thought i'm ripping people off i wouldn't do it right? I've got morals dammit.
enough typing for nataleeeeee!!

I've decided to start writing again. I'm going through all these miscellaneous files on my computer and putting them in one folder then by which I will filter each file and rewrite/edit the content! Some of these I don't even remember writing. Publication seems so distant at this stage.

Today I'm going to an expensive store that specializes in scrapbook making. Although I have little money to spend I am excited. I reminisce at an earlier moment in the day, the juvenile belittling feeling of my father handing me $25. *pout*
I'm STILL looking for a job and it's been weeks!
Staying on track of my original post, the store is called Archivers:
https://www.archiversonline.com/index.asp
We're also stopping at Joann Fabrics, a personal favorite of mine for their wonderful prices and selling of material so cheap that as well reminds me that retail stores charge much more for.
I'm so interested in DIY projects, if only I had the talent of making my own clothes, I'll have to settle for just personalizing the ones I have to the ultimate extreme....

(Jezebel feel free to critique my more dramatic posts)